Week 1: Things that sucked and things that didn't.

Keeping up with journaling on trail is much more of a chore than I anticipated. I've been out here for the better part of 2 weeks and have only finished writing through day 4. Nice. I hate typing notes on my phone so what usually happens is that I cram tiny words into my notebook and then speak it into my phone where it pops up here. 

The problem is that for a week in a row now, I've laid down in my tent after hiking for hours on end in the ruthless wind. I've laid down in my tent with my notebook open and headlamp propped in the mesh pocket above me, ready to write my thoughts and experiences from the day. I get about 2 sentences down before I close my eyes "for a second" only to wake up at 5am to an open notebook and a dead headlamp.

So if you were hoping for a detailed update, I'm here to let you down! Instead, despite my hatred of the notes app, here are a few entries I've managed to type out over the past few days that might open up a little window into this new life of Type 2 fun and filthy nailbeds.

*For a little context, I've been hiking with my Lithuanian friends Antonas and Indre from the very beginning. I met them on day 0 at the CLEEF campground. I introduced myself to the quiet, tall guy with a bucket hat and a safety pin through his ear and later met his girlfriend with a kind, reserved demeanor- Antonas and Indre. We became quick friends with a shared appreciation for scooby doo impressions and brainrot humor. We camped near Jackson (Suds) from Jersey on night 1 and have continued on with him since then. A determined, confident guy with a love of art and poetry and an enthusiasm for life. On Day 4, after leaving Mount Laguna, we met Niles (Yeti) from France and have lured him into our bubble. He's a quiet, honest, hitchhiking college student who took a gap year to hike this crazy thing. On the morning of Day 6 before heading into the town of Julien, Sergeant Pepper caught up to us and quickly became our "trail dad". Indre, Antonas and I had met him at CLEEF but hadn't seen him since. A retired spaceship technician (?) or was it an engineer? I'll have to ask him again. He thru-hiked the AT in 2023. There's no promise that we'll all be able to stick together through the months, but for now I'm soaking up the joy of my wonderful new friends.*

Antonas first words in the morning:

3/24

"If you want a burger, get a burger"

3/26

"I'm a busy guy, I can't warm up my toes."

"Where did you come from where did you go where did you come from cotton eyed joe"

"Maurice, it's cold. Why is it cold Maurice?"

3/31 5:44am

My abs are sore from laughing yesterday 

Friendship moves fast out here

Light raindrops just started landing on my tent

I'm cold and don't want to get out

but here I am

Surrounded by my 5 friends of a week or less

All with the same goal in our hearts

Happy to be here and push 16 miles closer to Canada 

4/2 8:32pm

A lot of things sucked about today.

But in the end

well...

not even the end

Throughout it all

there was beauty beyond what a camera can capture

When the sun came out after a

terrible night 

and an 

awful morning

of freezing temps and wicked wind

It was breathtaking

It deserved a stop in my flow of movement

to take in the glowing clouds

the shadows dancing across the mountains 

A glorious background to the frozen pines.

A lot of things sucked about today.

But the taste of my almond snickers bar after thinking about it for hours

The taste of water after hours of forgetting to drink

The taste of a soft, flaky tortilla and 10 handfuls of cereal that I had been thinking about for hours

That was a highlight of my day

My joy was as simple as instant mashed potatoes 

an instant chai latte after 17 miles of pushing my body

through mountains and miserable wind.

The clouds were enormous 

a living 

breathing

white

The sky was blue

a living blue

a blue deeper than a picture can hold

The foothills were a sea of green

They were jagged

and lush

and dry

all at the same time.

 

A 

lot 

of 

things 

sucked.

The cold was evil

the wind was unrelenting

Still! 

Present tense!

Still the wind won't give up

The sun was warm butter when it shone on my skin

That same sun was cruel to hide behind the clouds seconds later

All day long 

I shifted quickly between sweating through my shirt 

to frantically digging for my fleece in the biting 

cold

terrible

awful 

wind.

I was alone for hours

the group spread out across miles

Alone felt nice for a while

Until it didn't

Until I started catching my foot on rocks

Frustration rushing through me 

and out of me with a curse

every 

single 

time.

Alone felt nice

Until I was sick of my thoughts and sick of my music

I turned to an audio book

Alone felt nice

Until I got sick of my book and sick of my thoughts 

I prayed

Until my eyes got teary

uncovering depth 

I got sick of praying.

Finally the group congregated at the cistern

The sun being brutal with us

Poking out to tease us with a moment of relief

Hiding again, leaving us bitterly cold.

With new energy and a plan for the night, we set off.

A lot of things sucked.

I quickly fell behind

sweating despite the wind

stripping my layers and quickly regretting it

Not worth it to stop and put them on again 

I fell to the back

3 miles left 

3 miles that about took me out

Drained me

No energy left at only 2pm

I had pushed myself through the hills for 13 miles already

Now just cold and still being attacked by wind

So close to the end of the day 

still a few miles to go

No one in sight

Alone with my thoughts and frustration again

A lot of thing sucked about today.

And yet

I made it to camp

A beautiful spot amidst giant orange and tan boulders

I made it to my dinner

Made it to a slight break in the wind

Finally relaxed enough to take a shit in a hole.

And the sunset 

Oh my sweet goodness, the sunset!

Blue mountains lined the horizon

The clouds slowly darkening until they faded into orange and pink 

to frame the sphere of light dipping lower and lower

The light dropping behind the mountain

The clouds still big 

and orange

and pink

and beautiful 

and worth the numbness of frozen air in my limbs

to stand on a boulder and watch 

And the sun gave it's reward for enduring it's cruel jokes 

A reward!